Beloved One, Most Beautiful of all beings, Your love is with us, Your peace surrounds us, Your hand supports us, even now. Your light shines in our darkness and never goes out. Your perfection chastises us, Your love opens our hearts to admit our error, Your glory leads us on to change, Your mercy forgives us and gives us forgiveness of ourselves.
There are times in my grief and terror and pain and rage when I do not feel You, I do not see You, but I know You are still with me. When I doubt, I wait, for You will restore my faith. As low as my spirit may fall You will catch me. A far as I may wander lost you will find me.
I am crying, my God, people I love are crying, people I do not know but care about are crying in pain, in loss, in fear. I hear people ask "How could God have done this?" "How could God allow this to happen?" and I know that it is humans who have done this and humans who have allowed it to happen. That only makes my agony worse.
Even now, the innocent souls who died from the violence of September 11 are in Your love and care, in a new life and joy. We will mourn their painful deaths and our painful loss, as we must, but slowly we will release them to You and keep their memory still living.
We are Your hands and Your feet, and in Your love we will bind the wounds of body and heart in the people You lead us to. I am so limited and so helpless, God, and it hurts so much not to be able to help more. I will do what You give me to do, and offer up all else to You.
Save me from using the occasion of others pain and vulnerability to preach to them. My work is my worship, my Beloved. If I feel tempted to tell anyone what my Christian mission is, make me shut my mouth, dear God, and work harder to show it.
You are perfect in Truth and Understanding -- my understanding of your truth is not perfect. I may be wrong about anything. Help me listen to the beliefs of others with the respect that I want them to listen to mine. Help me to learn from everyone.
There is hatred like smoke in the air. Give me courage, God, to stand against it. Make me strong in the will for justice, and strong in opposition to injustice. I will not beg you for the lives of people who have dedicated themselves to death. I do beg you for the lives of the innocents around them. If innocents die, it will be humans who kill them -- but Grace can open human minds and hearts to change. Your Grace has kept us from our own destruction for eons. Bear with us a little longer, Lord. Bear us up in Your Grace.
God, in Your Grace give everyone in charge of finding and stopping the killers clarity of mind and purpose. A will for justice is not a will of anger. It is our imperfection that the only way we have to stop those who have dedicated themselves to death is to fulfill their death, to kill them. Dear God, make everyone who must kill grieve for the necessity, that we not pursue death beyond necessity. I am so terribly afraid that our purpose to protect human life and dignity will be taken over by the means we use, and our enemies will win by turning us into them. We've done it before, God, we've started out to help humans and ended up sacrificing them to the engine we created to help them. Open our hearts and minds with Your Grace and make us truly put the welfare of all ahead of our ideas of right and wrong. If we can find any other way than killing to stop further death, Lord, lead us to it.
Give me courage, please, the courage to stand against the wrongs of the terrorists and the wrongs of my country and my own wrongs.
I beg repeatedly for courage, because I am scared. I know from my own experience that if I go with Your inspiration I am not harmed, even in the midst of great danger, that I know what to say and what to do even in great emergency. But God, this is the greatest danger and the greatest emergency of my life. My country has been hurt on its own ground. On the one hand are servants of death who must be stopped before they bring the world down in flames to fuel their own ideas of glory. On the other hand are my own neighbors who cry for blood and in their helplessness and frustration turn on innocents because they cannot confront the guilty. I know what has happened to people in the past who have spoken out in criticism of their country's actions in such times of passion, and I know that the few words of anger I've received already are a faint shadow of what might happen if I continue to do as I feel I must.
Dear God, help me keep my sense of humor. I'm going to need it. Help me keep my eyes on life, and not on death; on hope, and not on fear; on love, and not on hate.
Please, please help me to root anger and hate out of my own heart. Help me to remove my own blind spots, and restore my perspective. Give me anyone whose different viewpoint can help me do that. Because God, I am so sorely angry, and You know it. I and my people have been frustrated and hurting for a long time, within this country, at street level. Hundreds of thousands of people go homeless and hungry, sick and untended, babies die every day, our men and women and children have suffered daily violence, and it has been pulling hen's teeth to get tuppence in help or relief from our government. But war gets instant billions out of Congress. I and my friends see daily injustice. People I know have been murdered, God, because they were homeless or female, people I know have been jailed or killed by police because they were homeless or mentally ill or black or Latino or a female in the wrong place, and our country gets self-righteous about another country abusing human rights! There I go again, God, I'm getting angry. Is this anger distorting my perspective, Lord? Open my mind and my heart with Your Grace and help me learn.
My anger does not lessen my grief for all those harmed by September 11 and its consequences. My anger does not lessen the wrong of that crime, nor the responsibility of those who committed it, nor my desire to see them stopped forever. But God, my anger burns higher whenever I hear any of my neighbors speak self-righteously about Us the Good Guys who are going to wipe out all Them the Bad Guys.
I will not help any of my people by berating anyone with my anger. Rein me, Lord, and keep the purpose of serving life forefront in my mind, ahead of my desire to voice my opinions. May my voice serve life, and not the other way around.
Open my mind to my own errors and give me light to change them, so that I will not be eager to find error in others and stubborn in condemning it. Open my heart to my own shames and give me love to correct them, so that I will not be eager to find fault in others, or to demonize them. Help me live my life in joy, that I may share life and joy. Save me from harm, and from inflicting harm.
Give me courage to speak when I do find error, and make me stubborn in resisting it. Make me compassionate when I do find fault in others. For every fault I find in another, Lord, remind me where I have done the same things. Please God, help me most to do this with George W. Bush, Jr., because that is particularly hard for me. Give me discernment to know the difference between the things I must try to change and the things that I can't. May I be silent and present for my beloved who drinks too much, until and unless he himself wants to change. If someone who is drinking tries to drive, help me stop him. If the leaders and people of my country are going to do something I believe harmful to life and the general welfare, help me stand against it. What they do that doesn't affect the life and welfare of the rest of us keep my nose out of, please, especially now.
Keep my eyes on Your Glory and keep me moving forward in life and growth. Help us to build a world in which everyone can live abundantly, in which everyone can learn and grow through their own free thinking and choices, in which everyone can live and work with and learn from others who have different cultures and beliefs. A world free of terrorism.
Amen.
Month: September 2001
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I was going to leave my resource-links post of September 12 as my top post, but I can't keep silent.
writtenbyme.com - Terrorists Are Our Enemies. Muslims Aren't. by anitra2001 (If WrittenByMe goes down again, a copy is also posted on my own site.)
One of the comments left was: "Unfortunately the cool heads aren't usually the ones that prevail in times like this. Still, we can hope."
We do not have the option to "hope." If we do not want more terrible things to continue to happen, we must act.
Help and care for the survivors. I will continue to update my post of September 12, just before this, with resource information. Hold each other and grieve. Get angry, and pursue justice.
At the same time, stand up against injustice. Do not let anyone lead you into evil.
War is no longer the sole prerogative of government. neither is peace.
You, each and every one of you, is more powerful than you know, more powerful than you have ever allowed yourself to be.
The people doing evil are only individual humans like you.
Go out and be just as powerful a force for good.
Or live with the consequences. -
Updated September 13, 2001
In Memory of September 11, 2001 
I am leaving this as the top post in my log so that it will be easiest for people to find. Updates are marked in red.
Ways to help America
Life in Africa is collecting and
posting ways for people around the world to help.
dveras has also posted an excellent list of resources. Check for new posts.
In Seattle, the Puget Sound Blood Center has called for donations. Locations and phone numbers:
Seattle: 921 Terry Ave - 206-292-6500
North Seattle: 10357 Stone Ave NE - 206-526-1970
South Center: 130 Andover Park East, Tukwila - 206-241-6300
Bellevue: 1021 112th Ave NE - 425-453-4011
Olympia: 1220 Eastside St SE
Everett: 2703 Oakes Ave
The United Way has a donation page at https://www.uniteq.org/uwba/donation.jsp where you can select "The September 11th Fund".
You can give to the American Red Cross through http://www.amazon.com/ or at http://www.redcross.org/donate/donate.html (the Red Cross website is, however, getting a lot of traffic) or donate via PayPal
at http://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=p/gen/relief-outside
DO NOT RESPOND TO ANY EMAIL ASKING FOR DONATIONS TO THE RED CROSS UNLESS THEY COME FROM REDCROSS.ORG. Spammers are already running a con on this. Go to one of the sites listed above to make donations to the Red Cross, or call 1-800-HELP-NOW.
Added 9/14
Google's list.
PowellsBooks.news - September 12, 2001 -- until September 23, 20% of all purchases will be donated to the Red Cross.
You are invited to join the blogring The Tragedy On Sept. 11, 2001.
InternetNews - Business News -- How You Can Help Rescue Effort -- New York based
Added 9/13 World Trade Center Survivor Database
Please remember: Terrorists Are Our Enemies. Muslims Aren't. (link to an article, by me, at WrittenByMe)
Added @ 9 PM Find out more about how to help at http://helping.org/promos/cs_wtc.adp
The Children's Advocacy Center of Manhattan has been added to the charities page of the following sites:
http://www.katstiques.com
http://www.candle-snuffers.com
Help your children cope with the tragedy
http://www.topbabypages.com/coping.html
How to Talk to Your Children About the News
http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/news.html
Talking with Kids About the News
http://www.talkingwithkids.org/television/twk-news.html
Helping Children Understand Crisis and Trauma
http://www.angelfire.com/biz3/news/v1art1.html
Talking to Children about Violence
http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/news/news4-21.htm
EMERGENCY EMAIL NETWORK http://www.emergencye.com/
PASS ALONG SITE - IN MEMORY OF THE VICTIMS http://mailbits.com/goto/donotforget/
Website ribbons are available at
http://www.OutOfCoffee.com and
http://www.threevillage.comFairestc also has two lovely images: 
We have all shared grief, pain, fear and rage. Now let us share our strength and hope.
From a letter to a friend:
The world has changed for all of us -- or we have been catapulted into
the real world. The people of the United States have been shocked into
awareness of their vulnerability to the terror and violence that people
in the rest of the world have been living with for decades -- terror and
violence that our own government, in many cases, inflicted on them.
We've been slammed into the 22nd century and realized that war hasn't
been the sole prerogative of governments for decades. All of humanity
can now be endangered by one self-centered psychotic.
There are homeless people praying for all the people in New York, and
going in to give blood. We are united in each other's suffering.
At the same time, it is important to remember not just how much we have
been hurt, but how much we have; not just how dangerous our situation
is, but how strong we are; not just death but life. The greatest
offense to terrorists is not to be terrorized.
Share each other's grief and pain. Also share our strength.
Love and Virtual Hugs. Pass it on.
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BBC News | AMERICAS | World shock at US attacks
Lest we forget that we are not alone, and the whole world is not our enemy.
Among other, France, Italy, China, Russia and the UN Secretary General, Kofi Annan, have expressed shock, sympathy and support.
These are the people we need to work with against terrorism. Over 90 other countries had missions in the World Trade Center. The people who launched this attack are enemies of the world, not just enemies of the U.S.
One of the women in our writing group here in Seattle was in an elevator earlier today with a Middle-Eastern man. he looked at her sadly and said, "I am so very very sorry for what happened to your country today." "Thank you," she said. "I know you aren't one of the people responsible for this. But thank you."
I have been very disturbed by some people talking about bombing the hell out of whole countries, shooting all Moslems, etcetera.
Fear creates anger, anger can make us irrational. But listening to our feelings doesn't mean we have to do everything they say. We're humans. We have brains, too. Blaming all Moslems, all Arabs, all foreigners, all anyone for today's tragedies isn't accomplishing anything.
Terrorists are enemies of humanity -- enemies of Moslems, Jews, Christians, Americans, Europeans, Africans, everyone. We need to unite with the rest of the world in rooting out this menace to us all, and ending it firmly. For too long, turf disputes and the advantages of having a threat to unite the taxpayers against have prevented a concerted effort against terrorism. For God's sake, end it now.
We must create peace. We no longer have the option of hoping for peace. -
CNN.com - Chronology of terror - September 11, 2001
I grieve for all the lives lost and torn today, and my prayers are with them.
I must voice some thoughts that may not be as popular.
George W. Bush, Jr. has been baiting for trouble ever since he was appointed President. He has now achieved his goal. He has an incident he can use to increase militarization, to impose martial law if he wants to, to make any opposition to his proposals to raid Social Security sound like a betrayal of the people who died today and their families.
Please, don't get swept up in that.
Whoever was responsible for this -- Palestinian militants, Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden, or any other terrorist -- bears full responsibility for their acts and must be stopped. They have needed stopping for a long, long time. I am against the death penalty, I oppose war, I oppose violence because it is too easy a solution, if we don't have an active opposition forcing us to try any other way, humans can always solve a problem by shooting it. But in an impefect Universe, some mad dogs simply have to be shot.
At the same time, we bear some responsibility for our own situation. This does not excuse the terrorists. But if we keep acting like the U.S. can do anything the hell it wants and be answerable to no one, we will draw more fire. Innocent people, men and women and children, will die in terror and pain because politicians can't bring themselves to say, "I was wrong. I'm sorry."
Growing up is hard. Nobody does it without sufficient motivation. If your elected officials won't grow up by themselves, make them.
Don't let them simply wave the flag and rah!rah! lead you into righteous revenge for today's tragedies. Make them painfully evaluate what they did to contribute to it, from leaving counter-terrorist efforts weak while they spent money preparing for the kind of war fought last century, to failing in dialogue, provoking enemies, and not making the efforts to build the health and welfare and education of all people -- the only thing that really averts war.
Most of all -- be the change you want to see in the world.
God bless us all. God help us all. -
In answer to a certain Trend around here:
Life Addicts Recovery Program
Do you find that, no matter what your intentions are, your work schedule increasingly cuts into your online time?
Did you see the sky less than a week ago? Did you know what it was when you saw it -- without being prompted?
Do your email friends complain that your obsession with eating and sleeping is lowering your response time and weakening your relationships?
Welcome to Life Recovery Anonymous. We are men and women who have come together to share our strength and our pain in recovering from our addiction to everything that interferes with that which makes life truly meaningful -- The Internet. We are committed to overcoming our craven dependence on face-to-face contact that pulls us from our duty to answer each and every email; our misguided emphasis on physical building and making that interferes with the daily upgrade of our websites; our painful addictions to food, sleep and fresh air; our weak rationale that we can have "just one hour" with the family. Someday we will not do the laundry, we will not repair the window, we will not answer when our name is called Offline. In the meantime, we support each other in our small victories, and in our defeats.
My name is Anitra, and I <sob> have a Life!
This is our program:- We admitted that our lives were out of control: the contents of our closet would not respond to a Directory command, our children would not respond to their URL's, and our spouse would not respond to a Ping. If she did, it hurt.
- We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore the order that we, in our human limitations, could not.
- We found this Higher Power in the Internet, and surrendered our will to our Higher Power.
Our Higher Power gave the will back and said it had loopholes big enough to drive MajorDomo
through. - We made a searching moral inventory of every time we had failed to download the newest upgrade of anything; every time we had willingly logged off before our time ran out, power went down or our body collapsed; every time we had let more than five minutes go by without checking for
new email messages. - Having made this moral inventory, we then shared it with at least one other person; actually, we shared it with everybody in our address book then put it up on a website with five mirror sites and registered them all with every existing search engine.
- We became entirely ready to have our Higher Power remove from us all of our moral weaknesses: our stubborn resistance to upgrade more than twice daily; our craven dependence on food and sleep; our slow response to "You've got mail" at 4 am.
- We humbly asked our Higher Power to remove these failings, before all the good domain names were bought up and everybody else's websites were flashier than ours.
- We made a list of everyone who had been wronged because of our skewed
priorities: when we dropped out of their chat line to answer the doorbell,
postponed answering their email to have dinner with our family, did not have new content posted on our website for their daily visit just because we were helping our elderly neighbor escape from her burning house, and failed to send their e-petition to end homelessness to 500 addresses because we were out building one homeless shelter. - We committed ourselves to making amends to everyone whom we had
wronged. - We proceeded to make amends to these persons whenever we could do so
without causing them further harm by distracting them from their online game time. - We continued to seek improvement by daily updates from download.com and answering every post on at least three newsgroups.
- Having had a spiritual awakening from our practice of these steps, we grabbed a large stock of chocolate covered coffee beans and went forth on the Net to carry our message of hope to other sufferers from the distractions of Life.
Blog On!
- We admitted that our lives were out of control: the contents of our closet would not respond to a Directory command, our children would not respond to their URL's, and our spouse would not respond to a Ping. If she did, it hurt.
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This is one of GudKarma's delightful Xanga Spoofs. Betcha' thought it was a joke, didn't you? Well, let me tell you a story.
We had an earthquake in Seattle this last summer: not a big one, no people were hurt, but some damage was done to older buildings and the city froze for a day or so.
The earthquake happened about 10AM. Wes was asleep and I was online locating the schedule for the bus I needed to take to a noon meeting, when the building began to shake.
Wes leaped out of bed and stood naked under the closet door jamb.
I grabbed the computer to make sure it wouldn't fall off the table. -
I posted a new article at WrittenByMe.com yesterday - Mental Illness or Physical Illness? - and it's gotten a "5 thumbs up" rating already. Like I said a couple of posts ago, I write for a purpose. eProps and Thumbs-up and other ratings aren't just ego-boo, they aren't even just motivation-fuel -- they are the record that the purpose is being accomplished.
And thanks for the feedback to that post.
It's good to know that the writers I respect do value their own work! And welcome to my newest subscriber, toreibjo.
Write On! -
Wow! Using the Sitemeter to find out where the visitors to my home page (my BIG site) were referred from, I found out that my Sea Chantey site is listed as a Surfer's Pick in Cool Entertainment Sites in the Yahoo UK & Ireland directory. And that it was written up in a newsbyte in WashingtonPost.com!
If you like sea songs at all better than my sweetie Wes does -- which means, if you like them at all -- you may enjoy visiting: Anitra Sings Sea Chanteys: History, Background, Lyrics & Tunes.
It's also a member of the Lyrics Webring. And gets a lot of visits from that. So much for people who don't think anyone ever actually uses webrings!
Have you surfed your Blogrings lately? That's where I found most of the people I subscribe to!
you all -- I'm going to bed happy now.
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